Committee promotes Ramsey to Member status
WASHINGTON DC. With a 2/3 vote, the MTKMF committee has elevated Minister Mat Ramsey (of the Universal Life Church Monastery) from Preferred Guest status to Member status.
Ramsey moved quickly to secure his official title as “Minister of blouse”. No committee action has been taken to approve this title.
This is the first time a Pescetarian (a fish-eating-vegetarian) has been added to the Council of Members. The council does have oversight privileges for the MTKMF annual budget. A spokesperson from the Ramsey camp stated “At this time, Minister Ramsey does not have plans to challenge overall meat spending”. However, analysts close to the situation believe a recommendation to decrease meat spending in favor of increased fish, vegetable and exotic alcoholic beverage (a staple of the ULC Monastary) spending is due from the Ramsey camp any day now.